O. MY. GOSH.
This past week has been... crazy... beyond crazy... I'm sitting here, trying to think of a word that describes the madness that is flying through my head, and I cannot come up with a single thing. You know when you feel like your day/week/life is SO nuts that you don't even have time to think?! Well, that was my week... times 853, 542, 693!!!
So, today is the first time that I have even looked at my computer besides hitting the "Send and Receive" button on my email everyday. I haven't even read any of them, I just glance to see what comes in... and even while doing that, sitting at the computer for a whole 30 seconds while waiting for the server to actually send and receive the emails just takes too long. I have to walk away and do something else until I remember to come back and check to see what came in. I haven't even checked the weather AT ALL this week. Usually, I do that every morning before I get dressed. (Though now that I live in Florida and its August, its not too hard to imagine what it will be like each day... HOT!) It's been raining a lot in the afternoons too, which I enjoy. I like looking out my classroom windows and seeing that summer afternoon rain fall. I don't always love love the rain, but in the summertime, there's just something peaceful about it. Something that just makes you want to sit next to the window and sigh.
I've been tearing up a lot lately. It's mostly because my tear ducts are hard-wired to my fatigue level. And since I've been tired to the max all week, everything makes me tear up. This morning, I watched a show on "E!" about Taylor Swift, and I was practically crying in the middle of it. Why on earth would you be crying? you ask... I don't know. I don't even remember what they were talking about. I teared up during a re-run of "Sons of Guns" two nights ago too. I mean, come on... "Sons of Guns"??? Yep. Oh, and I cried like a baby when I watched "Secretariat" last weekend. (For those of you who don't actually know me, I have loved horses my whole life. It is still a huge dream of mine to own horses someday.) And at the end of the movie, when Secretariat was running the Belmont, I had tears streaming down my face. It was just so heart warming. One of those moments that reminds us all of how more than anything, we just yearn to be a part of something that's bigger than ourselves. It's the same reason we root for our favorite sports teams; jumping up and down, screaming when they make the final goal and win the championship game! It's the same as when we go to a concert and scream out the lyrics to our favorite songs along with thousands of strangers. The same reason we mourn as a group/people/nation when tragedy befalls other people, whether they are near to us or half way around the globe. Deep down inside, we all long to be a part of something bigger, something meaningful, something real. And sometimes, that feeling hits me so hard that I can't hardly breathe... (or I just sit in front of the tv, with tears streaming down my face). No matter how happy or loved or satisfied we think we are, there is always some part of us, deep down in places we don't like to talk about at parties, that whispers, "There's more to life than this." ...And there is.
One book I love to read when I'm feeling this way is The Sacred Romance by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge. It reminds me that we are all searching for our meaning and our true, abundant, fulfilled life. And we are all searching in the wrong places. I love it.
... Well. I guess I got a little off track there. That's not even what I was intending to write about, but there it is. And, you know, sometimes things like that just happen, so I'm not going to erase it. I'm just going to keep going.
This week was the first week of school. And I can hear you all, sitting at your computers going, "OOOHHHH! I GET it now! Now it all makes sense." Yeah, sorry, maybe I should've started with that, but like I said, my brain just kind of went where it went. And, it was a good week. But I was just so stressed out and exhausted all week, that I could barely function. Seriously, when I wasn't actually in front of the class teaching, I was sitting at my desk in my classroom, just staring at the floor... completely brain dead. I also lost about 4 pounds because I couldn't eat until yesterday. Every time I would try to eat, I felt like I was going to throw up, so... yeah. That pretty much sums up how incredibly, incapacitatingly nervous I can get about just about anything. However, last night I grabbed some Panera on the way home from work, so I think my nerves diet is over. (If there ever comes a day when I can't stomach my Panera sandwich, someone will need to get me to the hospital immediately, because I'll probably be dying!) It was a successful week though. I had a major epiphany after my first (real) day on Wednesday, but I think I'll save that for another time. Hopefully I'll get some work done today so that next week will go more smoothly. So, I should probably get to it. I've been stalling all morning.
Boo. At least I'm wearing my favorite jeans though.
Oh! Wait! I didn't even discuss the meaning of the title of this post! Haha! Work, you will have to wait a little longer! So, The weekends part is pretty self-explanatory. But, above all else, music has saved my life this week. Though there are so many things that I am thankful for, music is the one thing that kept me sane this week. The 20 minutes to and from work when I had the music blaring, singing along, dancing, working hard to try and forget all my worries MADE my week. So, thank you Lord for music and weekends!
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