"And Today is All You've Got Now"

"This is your life, and today is all you've got now... and today is all you'll ever have."  ~Switchfoot

The lyrics of this song have been echoing around in my head for the past week or so.  And they're powerful lyrics.  Anytime we talk about... what if there's no tomorrow... it always is.  Because, what if?  If there is no tomorrow, your today would be so incredibly different.

And anyway, I don't really want to get all philosophical and deep really, but today, I had a moment of clarity.  I've always loved color guard (you know, the people that spin around the flags and stuff when the marching band is on the field).  And I've always known that color guard is one of my life-long true passions.  But today, I was reminded of that in such a wonderful way.  I got home from school earlier than normal today, and one of my favorite 30 Seconds to Mars songs was playing on the way home.  (This song is my DREAM winter guard routine.  Seriously, it would be soooooo awesome!)  And I've been dying to go outside and spin for a while, but I just never seem to have the time.  And really, I didn't have the time today either, but I decided to just procrastinate on more important things because I really needed some me time.  And I went outside to spin my rifle, and... I'm home.  Color guard is one of my true callings.  All my stress melts away; everything comes naturally; I feel confident; I can genuinely laugh at my mistakes; I love the challenge of really getting a move perfect; I love everything about it.  I never even skip warming up (doing the basics over and over again) because I even love those.  I love the routine of it, and the way it feels to know that I can do a move perfectly ten times in a row.  I love the way you can give yourself over completely to the music and the movements, and nothing else matters in that moment.  Color guard is my thing.  It's that thing that if Thomas and I did not need my salary at any given point in time, I would quit any job and do color guard full time (even for free!).  That is how much I love it.

Anyway, I guess that was still kind of heavy.  This blog in general is getting a little heavy.  Too bad I don't have more time to have fun!  I haven't even seen a new movie in TWO WEEKS!  That's terrible.  (It's not like there's been many good movies to go see though.)  Anyway, I really should have been in bed a while ago.  Boo.  5:30 am comes WAY too early every morning!  Good night, sleep tight!